About my current life situation.

I mentioned it briefly at the end of leaderboard post in What's your highest score on(drift thread) by @andrus.
It's about certain person i descrived in this board as "arrogant egoistic fagg" in ppl who annoy your or something like that.

This person, so called "friend" was only person to who i spoken to in my class (got some old real friends in school but in other classes. He was participing in "Drift temple" which started and introduced him to drift in Carbon, and for 2 years in row we came almost every day to play it. It was only moment when he havent made fun out of me or made an idiot out of me, just due my drift skills being always a bit higher than his. He was arrogant in school but i knew he needed to accept my highness in Carbon drifting at least, so i had some relxed freetime from insults and harrasing as pseudo-mentor. I was/am slightly better in school in matter of marks but he still harrased meand insulted, but since he had some great jokes to tell (current school situation bassed etc.) And i had intersting science info/trivia.
But at the end of last year he surpassed my records few times (i regained upper hand) but the he got his own pc and started to nolife in Carbon for few weeks straight which let him to take away my only thing that kept my mind partialy healthy. I stopped to care about anything (early summer like early-july or something)and lost perceving of emotions by him, i literaly cant feel a thing (no care, love to my family, fear, true happinnes, cant fall in love anymore even) emotionaly, not even anger. After 3 years of him just trying to dominate me individualy(he is backed out of the rest of my class so he just did it on me, by harrasing me, making an idiot out of me and "programing" me as as worse, an idiot and claimed "to fix me" and he recently succeded, i lost my spontanious behaviours and emotions, i was trying to "fix myself" cuz of this bullshiet, tried his tastes (games movies) mimick him and i lost myself in this.

Last emotion that i felt were hype and happiness (also anger in few cases) while i played with you "Hot pursuit mode" in World and later when i was creating video and were in my "raceday". After that i slowly stopped to feel any emotion (i havent reacted nor felt anything when my father outbursted and hit me on vacation on july)
I dont feel like myself anymore, lost that what made me, ME. I lost almost fully my personality (i still try to fake and live as i was 'from memory' but it's not a solution. It's not like i'm depressed, i dont feel truly sad either. It's like "Spock syndrome" i dont care nor feel, just think and try to relate fircibly to other people's emotions. It's most 'scary' that i'm not affraid of dangers(like i speexing with car while loosing grip and risking my life, but not in fearless douche bag just like dont care) i dont feel fear, i just react by my counciousness.

While i maniacly tried to get his acceptance i lost myself. He destroyed me. I dont even know how to solve it. I dont feel emotions for 4 months know and i dont enjoy my life know. I dont like this state.

What are your toughts ppl. I need help. For real.